Dear dotdotdot, Sincerely, NOT TRUE
by Ohhdaughter
Summary: In which characters write to their beloved to address the pressing matters of Fanfiction cliches and popular opinions. T for swearing.
1. Dear Ron

_**Dear dotdotdot, Sincerely, NOT TRUE**_

_So, hi. I realise this has been done a thousand times and its variations aren't too dissimilar, either. But, I've had this in my head for ages, so I thought why not?_

* * *

Dear Ron,

Don't worry, darling, I'm not in love with _Viktor Krum, Draco Malfoy, any of your brothers – _or any of the other male characters apart from you, so don't worry. I think these muggles might be suffering from kind of sanity stealing draught – the ministry should look into this immediately.

Sincerely, your loving wife, Hermione Granger-_Weasley_.

* * *

_This will be letters from characters to other characters addressing fanfiction clichés about them._

_Please review and feel free to request letters or characters or something._

_Ta, _Erin.


	2. Dear Mummy

_**Dear dotdotdot, Sincerely, NOT TRUE**_

* * *

Dear mummy,

Contrary to popular opinion, I _do_ love you, and, in fact, I secretly adored your care-packages when I was in Hogwarts, even when I was in Seventh Year.

Sincerely, forever loving son, Draco (Drakey) Malfoy.


	3. Dear Ginny

_Dear Ginny,_

I promise, dear, that I _never_ felt anything for Hermione when we were hunting for Horcruxes.

Love, Harry Potter – husband of Ginny _Potter_

P.s. please don't make me sleep on the sofa again, love.

_I love fics where Ginny gets all mad and makes him sleep on the floor/sofa_. 


	4. Dear James

_Dear James,_

I can assure you that I _never, ever_ felt anything but platonic love for Severus.

Love, your wife.

P.s. well, there was that one time, but that doesn't count, because it was only a kiss on the cheek.

_None in a week and two in one night?_

_yolo_


	5. Dear Fellow Marauders

_Dear Padfoot, Prongs and Moony,_

I _did_, in fact, love you lot. You were my mates. I – I just maybe didn't like living your shadows, okay?

I mean; I wasn't as smart as Remus, as good looking and smooth as Sirius, and as intelligently funny and hopelessly in love like James – I was just quiet Peter, easy to pick on and a good second choice.

I'm sorry.

Sincerely, Wormtail.

P.s. You-Know-Who made me feel special, unlike you lot.

* * *

_A/n; not funny, but needed to be said. _

_I like how no-one's giving me any reviews but this has got 600 hundred hits. Clearly, it's not _that_ good then? _

_Idk.._


	6. Dear Lily's Son

_Dear Harry Potter, _

I can assure you, I am not your father, and I have no idea where these foolish muggles are getting these frankly _silly_ conclusions from.

Sincerely, Severus Snape, the man who is definitely not your father.

* * *

_Idk, I'm a secret snily shipper, and wot? _

_Follow me on twitter (infinitehp), cus I talk and moan and you can get to know me better ;) (I'm sorry.)_

_also, thanks to the three who review, you're lovely. _

_if you have any ideas, feel free to tell me_


	7. Dear Harry

_Dear Harry,_

I never knew so many muggle songs related to us and our situation back in '98. And I also wasn't aware that _I_ had written most of them.

_Sincerely,_ your obstinately unmusical wife, Ginny Potter

* * *

_**I've seen this a lot.**_

_**Aww, thank you again to those who reviewed. **_


	8. Dear Minerva

_Dear Minerva,_

I'm sorry, but I thought you knew how I felt about . . . relationships. And, weren't you engaged before you worked at Hogwarts?

Ever-so Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore

P.s. I wouldn't tell a soul.


	9. Dear Our Parents

_Dear our parents,_

We promise we are not shagging each other in broom cupboards, nor are we constantly heart-broken over one of our cousins' sudden revelation that shagging each other is wrong.

_Sincerely, the Weasley-Potter grandchildren._

* * *

idk, needed to be said.

sorry, i've had things that i've been busy with and i still have and all this school work is stifling and is going to kill me one day.


	10. Dear Remus

_Dear Remus,_

I don't suppose you've heard the rumour that we have, errm, you know…

And you do know that I did not tell a soul, right?

Sincerely, Padfoot

P.s. was it _you?_ did you expose our secret, uhmm, _trysts_, to the muggles?

* * *

_omg, thank you to the people have reviewed dis tingz. _

_SHAMELESS PLUGGING RIGHT HERE: if you like the-hunger-games/the-mortal-instruments/doctor-who/harry-potter/englishteenagegirlsmoaning then follow my twitter: infinitehp and tell me you're from fanfiction. i'll luurrve you forever_


	11. Dear Hannah

_Dear Hannah,_

I swear, it was only a summer fling with Luna.

Love, Neville

P.S. I love you . . .

* * *

aren't you luckaay


	12. Dear Mudblood

_Dear Mudblood,_

I'll have you know, I would not touch you with a teen-foot-pole, let alone with my _hands_.

_In_sincerely, Draco _Malfoy_

P.S. with a one-foot-pole, however…

* * *

i don't ship it, but wotever.

also, i now do headcanons on my twitter, so if you like headcanons, follow meh (infinitehp)


	13. Dear George

_Dear George,_

I promise you, you aren't a replacement. Sure, you remind me of Fred – _how could you not?_ – but you're _George_, and you're the one I married.

Fred and I weren't even together for long – a month at most when we were sixteen. It doesn't count, does it?

Sincerely, Angelina Weasley, wife of _George_.

* * *

_This was a request by adp1222, and I completely agree with this, people seem to think George was used as a replacement by Angelina - no. Maybe grieving brought them together, but we don't know._


	14. Dear Lily

_Dear Lily,_

You were not a prize to be won, I legitimately loved you.

Very sincerely, James

* * *

_These are turning out to be not very funny._

_Oh, yeah, sorry for not updating in weeks, I've been busy._


End file.
